When I become a park ranger...

As many of you know, (I say "many" even though there are like, 4, people who read this... but whatevs) the shelf inside one of my kitchen cupboards collapsed "the other day." "The other day" is how I refer to it so people don't judge me for having all sorts of things strewn about in my apartment. If the shelf is down, that explains the grape nuts, Swiss Miss, oatmeal and Chocolate-tini packages all over my couch. Truth be told, I'm pretty sure the shelf fell a month ago. Well, today I finally had the energy to try to put it back up. I bought L-brackets this weekend and I figured I could do it while Andy was at work... wrong. Epic Fail.

I took everything out of the cupboard (you know, the things on the bottom shelf that didn't come flying out in the middle of the night, crashing down scaring the shit outta me, making me think there is a burglar and nearly kill Andy for NOT GETTING THE FUCK UP AND PROTECTING ME! i.e. when the shelf fell) took it all out, marked where the brackets should go, etc etc... and I can't get enough leverage to drill the screws in. Got up on my stepladder, one foot braced on the counter, boobs inside the cabinet-- hooked on that little lip that the magnets that hold the cupboard door closed are in--for leverage, you know... nada. The cabinets must actually be made of steel even though they look like wood. I got ONE, count 'em, one, screw to go all the way in. FML.

So, I gave up. Decided to call my mother and whine. Turns out my father has been to Dakota City at least twice this week... you know, Dakota City, the city that is like 10 miles from my apartment and he hasn't called once even though, hey, he could fix my shelf... THAT Dakota City. Dammit.

So as I'm finishing up talking to her, I remember a question I had for her the other day: Andy has never been to Mt. Rushmore so I'm thinking of taking him there this summer. Where else should we go?

We, of course, discussed Reptile Gardens and other places I had already thought of. Then she says Wind Cave. This is where my mistake comes in: I said "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." She proceeds to tell me in detail (for ten minutes) which tour to take. "Yeah mom, I remember" Of course I remember, I was seven-freaking-teen!
"Don't take the one we took. Take the one Chris walked. Well, he walked all of them except Mammoth Cave, but he was only a year old then. We backpacked him then. First your dad carried him, then Uncle Mike carried him.." blah blah, fucking blah, story I've heard EVERY TIME the word "cave" is even mentioned in a conversation in a 3 room radius of where she is...

Then: "Yeah, we're going to Yellowstone in the first part of August cuz Chris has never been there."
If you hang around here enough, you'll realize that Yellowstone is probably my favorite place in the world so far. So the fact that they rub in my face that I can't go, and that the Golden Child is going with them this year, really makes me mad.

It doesn't seem to matter what I do, in my mother's eyes, I will never be as good as him. He spent all his college fund on things that ended up getting repossessed while I nannied through high school and actually bought her birthday and xmas gifts and the occasional thing that caught my eye and screamed "mom" at me. He still wins.

He joined the Navy and got kicked out. I went to college and got a BA in English and a minor in Photography. He still wins.

He got married, had two children ( I should say, got his girlfriend knocked up, got married, had a second child...), got divorced, remarried, and divorced again in less than 10 years. I finished high school, college, DIDN'T get knocked up and got married and got a job (he went thru multiple jobs--> like in the realm of 10 jobs at least in 10 years) in those same 10 years. He still wins.

I came home regularly and often brought home new games or movies or whatnot for my family. He came home to ask for money or whatever. When I came home, MAYBE mom cleaned all the junk that she had thrown on my bed in the last month off so that I could sleep somewhere. More often not. Every time he came home, she baked his favorite dessert.

Andy noticed (I didn't until recently, he noticed within about 2 months of meeting my mom) that whenever we are home, there are approximately 5 Chris stories told in the average visit. Sometimes she tells one about me.

So for her to just mention that the Golden Child gets to go to Yellowstone this year--- the year that I DESPERATELY want to go, that I DESPERATELY want to take my husband and can't--- is just a slap in the face. So I've decided: When I become a park ranger, HE IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY PARK. She can come in until she pisses me off.. so about 15 minutes. That's ok, she'll need a smoke after 15 minutes anyway.*
harumph.



*Admittedly, that was a low blow, but she's been hitting pretty far below the belt for a few months now, so just once, it's my turn.
the end.

Weekly Plans, April 27- May 3, 2009

Weekly plans, April 27, 2009 until May 3, 2009.

Monday:
• I work
o CES Notes
o Email idiots
• Andy works @ 4:30
• Finish thank you notes
• Dishes
• Fix the cupboards (a shelf in one of my cupboards collapsed after the plastic peg thing that holds them up broke a few weeks ago. We have been searching for a replacement… last night I gave up and bought all new L-brackets so we could just fix it and not worry about it… and once I get them up, I can get all my food-stuff and dishes back in the cupboards and out of my freaking living room!)
o Get stuff back in cupboards
• Make cinnamon rolls? (idk if the tube of them I have in the fridge is still good or not…)

Tuesday:
• I work
o Coffee at 2pm with the other VISTAs (kill me now)
• Andy off
o Make Andy do laundry while I’m at work
• Clean out the fridge
• Do dishes
• Sweep
• Take out the trash

Wednesday:
• I work
o CES meeting?
• Andy works @ 4:30
• Change Punk’s Wonderbox
• Sweep
• Take out Wonderbox and trash
• Tidy apartment

Thursday:
• I work
o Thursday 13 Post
• Andy off
• Payday
o Grocery shop

Friday:
• I work
• Andy works @ 4:30
• My Loan payment is due but I paid it already

Saturday:
• I’m off
• Andy works at 8am
• Maybe take Punk out after Andy gets off.

Sunday:
• I’m off
• Andy works @ 1:30pm.

Thursday 13, Punk said so.

Sorry this is so late, it took a while to decipher the cat-scratch (as opposed to chicken scratch) that it was written in. This week Punk wrote the list, I was just in charge to typing it after he wrote it.

13 Things Teh Hooman Needz To Do Today:
1. Hold stillz so I can nom her.
2. Petz me.
3. Feedz me.
4. Set her drinkz on teh floorz so I can drink dem.
5. Maek dat other hooman go getz someting for herz, so I can steal his spot on teh couch.
6. Warm my spot on teh bed so when da phone rings, I can steal her warms.
7. Clean my bafroom and put new poop rocks in der so I can kick them out on teh floorz again.
8. Plays wif me.
9. Clean up all teh paper towels on teh floorz so I can get out dat roll I'm hiding under da couch and shredz more on teh floorz. Needz to be fresh, ya knowz?
10. Hold still so I can lickz her noze.
11. Find teh remote so I can change channels when she finds somefing she wants to watch.
12. Wash teh dishes so I can climb in teh sink again.
13. Gives me Kitteh Treatz. All of dem.

Repeat as nezessary... i.e. tomorrowz.

Love,
Punk, teh (supreme rulerz) Kitteh

Weekly plans, April 20- April 26

Weekly Plans, April 20 thru April 26
Weekly Plans is Sarah@TM2TS's baby, so I'm showing some support to help her get it off the ground.


Weekly Plans:

Monday:
* I work
* Andy off (that always happens... we can't have days off together, I guess)
* Andy being off means I won't accomplish much of anything tonight... but the apartment is pretty clean...
* Soak foot
* Take antibiotics
* Brain Train
* Mail loan payment
* Read Winter Study
W00t, did everything I was supposed to!

Tuesday:
* I work
* Andy off
* Take antibiotics x2
* Soak foot
* Brain Train
* 6:30 pm Dr's appointment (associated goal: Don't cry!)
I did cry. But the Lidocaine didn't work. They gave me 8 units and I could still feel it. And I didn't Brain Train that day either. But I think I will be forgiven...


Wednesday
* I work--> CES and MCU meetings
* Andy works @ 4:30
* Take antibiotics x2
* Brain Train
* Read Winter Study (I doubt I'll want to do anything after having work done on my toe Tuesday and I have lunch duty Thurs and EO on Friday, so I'm probably gonna want to rest..)
Accomplished, LOL!

Thursday:
* I work until 3:30ish
* Andy only has training at 6-7pm
* I have Lunch duty for Earth week's Trayless Thursday (11am-1pm)
* Take antibiotics x2
* Brain Train
* Dr's appointment at 4pm


Friday:
* I work
* Andy works at 8am (so we can see each other when I get off work, yay!)
* Take antibiotics x2
* Environmental Olympics/Trashion Show (10am-2pm)
* Brain Train
Got a ridiculous sunburn... I'm a cherry tomato now...

Saturday:
* I'm off
* Andy works at 2:30
* Sweep
* Litterbox?


Sunday:
* I'm off
* Andy might work?
* New Desperate Housewives
* New Animation Domination

Thursday Thirteen: The Future

For this week's Thursday Thirteen, I wanted to broach a subject I've just begun to seriously contemplate. I've had an interest in National Parks for a while, but recently I've decided I really would like to be a Park Ranger. Andy thinks it would be great to be a pod-caster living in a National Park, so he's decided he is all for it. I mentioned it to my Dad at Easter and he seems to be interested in it as well. I think he just likes the idea of me working in a park so he gets to take vacations and maybe get discounts on park fees, haha. He's stated several times that he didn't think i was meant to live in a city. I don't know that I agree with him, but I do know that if I wanna do this, I should do it now, while I can. I do still want to be an editor, but I can free-lance online for random work. And there will always be time to be an editor after we start having babies and don't want to move around so much.
So for this week, I did some research and came up with the thirteen parks I would like to work/live in.

1. Natchez Trace, Mississippi
2. Big Cypress, Florida
3. Olympic, Washington
4. Guadalupe Mountains, Texas
5. San Juan Islands, Washington
6. Gulf Islands, Mississippi
7. Yellowstone, Wyoming/Montana/Idaho
8. Dry Tortugas, Florida
9. Rocky Mountains, Colorado
10. Mesa Verde, Colorado
11. Yosemite, California
12. Glacier, Montana/Canada
13. Isle Royale, Michigan

More to come about that later... but for now, that's my Thursday Thirteen.

Weekly Plans, Courtesy of Sarah, the Nag.

Weekly Plans, April 13 thru April 19
Weekly Plans is Sarah@TM2TS 's baby, so I'm showing some support to help her get it off the ground. If you wanna join in, here's the link: http://tm2ts.sarahsmidnightfantasy.com/2009/04/13/weekly-plans-april-13-april-19/ (let's hope that works, blogger's kinda picky and I'm kinda lazy) (haha, but not as lazy as Sarah... haha, she'll get that, bwahahaha!)

Weekly Plans:
Monday: I've decided not to commit to doing anything today
* I'm off
* Andy works at 2:30
* Shower
* Brain Train
I've decided not to tell myself I was gonna do something and then feel bad about not getting it all done. So today, the only thing I've committed to doing is taking a shower. It seems to be working, so far I've made brownies, done a drainer-ful of dishes, washed the cat bowls and played with the cat.

Tuesday:
* I work
* Andy off
* Shower
* Brain Train
* Wash trash cans
* Laundry?
* Sweep
* Take out the trash
****EDIT**** I ended up doing 2 loads of dishes Monday night. I forgot that whenever Andy has time off, I never accomplish anything. Let's face it, I'd rather be hanging out with him. So Tuesday I took out the trash, worked, showered, opened some mail, ordered and picked up a pizza, had family game night with Andy and went to bed. Early, in fact. I was deep enough asleep at midnight that I only vaguely woke up when Andy turned off his computer and got back into bed. In fact, apparently, when I thought he was snuggling against me in bed, it was Punk that was hairy and warm on my back, hahaha. So I didn't get everything done, but that's ok. Andy works tonight, so we'll see if I get anything done. Whatevs! the end****

Wednesday:
* I work
* Andy works at 4:30
* Shower
* Brain train
* Dishes
* File the stuff waiting to be filed
* Family Game night when Andy gets home?
So tonight wasn't exactly as listed... the problem is that in order to get anything done, I don't turn on my computer until after I've either finished everything I have planned or given up. So I never remembered what's listed for each day. Oops, haha. So today I worked, showered, Brain Trained, finished ALL THE DISHES IN THE HOUSE! (even the roaster that we got as a wedding present that's been sitting on the counter since the wedding...whoo hoo!). I didn't file, but I did wash the trash cans and cleaned the bathroom and mopped the floor. Oh, and I wrote more thank you notes until I ran out of cards. Not bad for one day... and I took a nap. W00t!


Thursday:
* I work
* Andy works at 4:30
* Shower
* Brain Train
* Clean the litter box
* Sweep
* Clean the bathroom
* Post Thursday Thirteen
* Grocery shop?
* Grey's Anatomy


Friday: Whoo payday...
* I work
* Andy works at 4:30
* Shower
* Brain Train
* Grocery shop?
* Make "real" food?
* Replace sponges
* ANDY AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED ONE MONTH!!!!


Saturday:
* I'm off
* Andy works at 2:30
* Shower sometime
* Brian Train
* Clean out "stuff" and make donate pile
* Make "real" food?
* Phone bill due... but I already paid it...


Sunday:
* I'm off
* Andy works maybe?
* Brain Train
* New "Animation Domination"
* Desperate Housewives
* Shower sometime

Thirteen Thoughts Thursday

Sorry I've been such a crappy blogger. With all the wedding things and drama happening lately, I haven't had the energy to write anything down. In an effort to blog more often, I have decided to write 13 randoms thoughts I have, every Thursday. It's a modification of the "Thursday 13" meme. The idea of 13 thoughts was today's "Thursday 13" post and I stole the idea from Sarah@TM2TS (See the original post here). Thanks Sarah!

1. I have to pee but the bathroom is 2 floors down and BruceTheCreeper is probably hiding, waiting for me to go in there so he can be standing outside when I come out. Creepy bastard... Did I mention he CAME IN when I was in there last week? W. T. F.??
2. I think my job is making me dumber. There is no exercise for my brain and I think it's getting weaker. "The brain is a muscle" and all that jazz, you know? I started playing Brain Age on the DS and it told me my Brain age was 60. I'm down to 34 after 4 days. Still scary though... I'm 22.
3. I am so tired today. Being married is exhausting.... but fun (wink wink!). Who knew the Home Depot parking Lot could be so fun?!?
4. I hope TheWeasel (my boss, DerangedWeasel) doesn't come in today. I don't have the energy to put up with his crap today. On top of that, I'm still a little mad at him for all his stupid comments at MCU yesterday. We didn't get off work until after 6 cuz he couldn't STFU. (and we start office hours at 9am...)
5. I ran into a family from my hometown at the mall yesterday, celebrating the middle son's 21st birthday. They mentioned that Andy and I are now "officially all-the-way married" now. How does one not be "all-the-way" married?
6. Hmmmm.... unless that "all-the-way married" referred to sex, since I know this family through church in O'Neill...
7. I wish I was outside now instead of sitting in my stinky office.
8. I love squirrels, I wish I had a ledge outside my window like Coyne does, so I could feed squirrels too and not be so bored.
9. These all sound random but they aren't exactly... I mean kinda, but it's like the 6 ways to Kevin Bacon thing... they are all connected, just not exactly in a concrete way... If you asked I could explain, but otherwise I'm just too lazy to detail it all out.
10. I'm talking to myself basically, since pretty much no one reads this. Except Kris. Hi Kris!
11. Oh good, Guelcher's class across the hall just got out. I'm tired of listening to him lecture thru my office door. I'm glad I never took a class with him and I feel sorry for those poor suckers who are in his class now.
12. I've accomplished like 4 work-related things this week. I worked my ass off last week though, so I don't feel that badly about it. I'm gonna rename my title "Chief Director in Charge of Doing Patrick and Gilbert's Jobs As Well As My Own". It's along title, but it's true.
13. Saying "badly" in the last thought was the correct way to say it, grammatically. It's an adverb. A lot of people screw that up. Oh, and 'alot' is not actually a word. It's weird.

Ok, I have more thoughts now, brought on by my 13, but I'm sure you're tired of hearing my psyche, so we'll move on....