That's Why I Love Him

"I said it in my head and thought 'that's dirty... I better as fuck say it then!'"  ~Andy

For the Record....

I refuse to feel bad for referring to the old bat down the hall as an old bat, just because she had a stroke.  In fact, she's a MEAN old bat.  I understand that she has limited understanding and mobility, so I let her have a lot more leeway than I generally grant people (before I start to dislike them) but that MEAN OLD BAT tried to run me over with her wheelchair.  More than once. 

I hope someday (even next week!) someone calls me an old bat.

You can't hear things like this anywhere else....

Andy:  You ok?  (I had a pretty nasty bug this weekend {while at Andy's family reunion, of course}so I'm still suffering a few ill effects.)
Me:  Yeah.  Hungry, I think.
Andy:  Yeah, I think I'm about to go cut some cheese.    

The spoils of this weekend's "antiquing" trip!

  (The white vase on the left I got a few years ago. I was excited to see the other one (on the right)  because it reminded me of the other one!  I love them both!)


No pictures of the vase I poured Coke into last night, though!  It's still in the sink! 

This quote will make more sense when I get the pictures posted.

Me: "Can I have a coke? I poured mine into the vase."
Andy: "Haven't heard *that* one before!"

 

 

Twat an interesting day!

So today Andy was browsing and found this photo:

 

(I have no idea where it originally came from, he sent me an Imgur link, so this is where I got it.)

Andy:  This is what we should use to keep Meghan in when she's drunk!!

Me:  You ever use those? They are fucking hard to open!  I have to use both hands!  I don't have big enough hands!
*realization*
Me: I am a fucking toddler.

 In other news, Crissy is having a Vajazzling kit giveaway. To enter, you simply have to write comment containing a haiku or a limerick about Down-There-Decorating. 

 So we all KNOW I had to enter.... He's my comment-- because I think I'm funny sometimes.

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Well, thank goodness I took 3 years of college poetry.  I'll have to tell my dad I used that degree in real life today.  Maybe I'll leave out that it was a limerick about vaginas...

There once was a man from Rangina,
Who wanted his woman to have a sparkly vagina
"Vajazzle" he cried,
From embarrassment, she died
Although, the doctor declared it was angina.

alternate ending line (because I can't decide which I like better):
From embarrassment she died,
So he had to decorate his own Mangina.

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 The title of this post makes a lot more sense now, huh?

Quote of the day:

Me: I'm a genius. That's cuz these *point at boobs* are actually brains.
Andy: Alert the men! Women with big tits actually have brains!