Sunday, December 27, 2009

Things I Learned This Christmas

I learned some important things this year.  I feel I should share my new-found wisdom so that you, dear readers, can learn from my Christmas mistakes!
  • Wax paper doesn't go in the oven.  That's what parchment paper is for; if you think it's no big deal to substitute wax paper for parchment paper so you don't have to run out to the store for more parchment paper two days before Christmas, your kitchen WILL SMELL LIKE A CANDLE ON FIRE. 
  • Stained Glass Cookies are NOT worth the effort to make.  They are DEFINITELY not worth running out to the store 2 days before Christmas to get more parchment paper.  We threw away the dough.  Too sticky to use the cookie cutters on, not worth the frickin' effort. I consider it a Christmas gift to my sanity.
  • If you FILL your freezer with cookies for everyone's Christmas gifts, YOU WILL GET SNOWED IN.  And you will be stuck with all those frickin' cookies in your freezer until you can make it to your hometown and give them away.  Cuz you REALLY don't want to eat them and have to re-make all those damn things.  
  • If you wait to buy your mom a knock-off Snuggie, (because she refuses to see logic and just wear a robe backwards, cuz let's face it, same thing, except you can TIE a robe!!)  they'll sell out. 
  • As soon as you hang your stocking on the wall, the cat will become ENTHRALLED with it, even if he's been sleeping on all of them for 3 weeks.  (You know, the 3 weeks between when you dug them out of the closet and found the Command hooks and put the hooks up on the wall and finally got around to putting the stockings up.) 
  • If you give you husband (long and tall) pilsners for Christmas and you aren't sure they are dishwasher safe, buy a bottle brush BEFORE Christmas, so that you are SURE you have one when he tries them out.  Because those are a B*TCH to try to stuff your hand down in and clean out. 
So now you know how my last week has gone and why I have done pretty much nothing except bag up the trash since Christmas.  I took a day and a half off the sit around.  Now I should probably get back to work.  Blerg. 


    Kelley said...

    I learned that no matter how hard I try MOTY will never be satisfied and The Golden Child will always be better than me.


    Misty said...

    Ah, I didn't post that because I haven't made it home to see my family yet. We got snowed in. Obviously because I filled my freezer with cookies. That's an obvious jinx, if there ever was one... That pleasure comes this weekend, hopefully (so I can fit the real food--you know vodka and ice cream--back in the freezer...

    This will be the first time Andy (whom I've been married to for 9 months and dated for 3.5 years before that) meets my nephews. He's only met The Golden Child of my family once (while TGC was insulting me at my grandmother's funeral) ONCE in all that time...

    and my mother fails to see that it's because TGC is never reliable and has bailed w/o letting anyone know for at least 3 family occasions...

    I'm rambling, but you see my point. I feel your pain.
    Vodka, anyone?