That's Why I Love Him

"I said it in my head and thought 'that's dirty... I better as fuck say it then!'"  ~Andy

For the Record....

I refuse to feel bad for referring to the old bat down the hall as an old bat, just because she had a stroke.  In fact, she's a MEAN old bat.  I understand that she has limited understanding and mobility, so I let her have a lot more leeway than I generally grant people (before I start to dislike them) but that MEAN OLD BAT tried to run me over with her wheelchair.  More than once. 

I hope someday (even next week!) someone calls me an old bat.

You can't hear things like this anywhere else....

Andy:  You ok?  (I had a pretty nasty bug this weekend {while at Andy's family reunion, of course}so I'm still suffering a few ill effects.)
Me:  Yeah.  Hungry, I think.
Andy:  Yeah, I think I'm about to go cut some cheese.    

The spoils of this weekend's "antiquing" trip!

  (The white vase on the left I got a few years ago. I was excited to see the other one (on the right)  because it reminded me of the other one!  I love them both!)


No pictures of the vase I poured Coke into last night, though!  It's still in the sink! 

This quote will make more sense when I get the pictures posted.

Me: "Can I have a coke? I poured mine into the vase."
Andy: "Haven't heard *that* one before!"

 

 

Twat an interesting day!

So today Andy was browsing and found this photo:

 

(I have no idea where it originally came from, he sent me an Imgur link, so this is where I got it.)

Andy:  This is what we should use to keep Meghan in when she's drunk!!

Me:  You ever use those? They are fucking hard to open!  I have to use both hands!  I don't have big enough hands!
*realization*
Me: I am a fucking toddler.

 In other news, Crissy is having a Vajazzling kit giveaway. To enter, you simply have to write comment containing a haiku or a limerick about Down-There-Decorating. 

 So we all KNOW I had to enter.... He's my comment-- because I think I'm funny sometimes.

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Well, thank goodness I took 3 years of college poetry.  I'll have to tell my dad I used that degree in real life today.  Maybe I'll leave out that it was a limerick about vaginas...

There once was a man from Rangina,
Who wanted his woman to have a sparkly vagina
"Vajazzle" he cried,
From embarrassment, she died
Although, the doctor declared it was angina.

alternate ending line (because I can't decide which I like better):
From embarrassment she died,
So he had to decorate his own Mangina.

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 The title of this post makes a lot more sense now, huh?

Quote of the day:

Me: I'm a genius. That's cuz these *point at boobs* are actually brains.
Andy: Alert the men! Women with big tits actually have brains!

My New Friend

I have been sorta MIA again.  Something arrived this week that should have been instant blog fodder, but I got wrapped up playing with it.  Heh, that sounded dirty and I like it.  Anyway, the lovely, gorgeous, wonderful Angela from MomVault sent me a new friend!  I'd been complaining about how I wasn't sure I could be a "real" crafter without a sewing machine.  Sorry, pioneer-style women, but I can't sew everything by hand... but trust me, I tried! Anyway, Tuesday the UPS dude showed up (and of course, since it wasn't the FedEx dude, I wasn't naked this time! But I was taking a nap--how do they always know?!?!) and delivered this sweet baby! 

I should have done this post right away, but as soon as it was unpacked I wanted to get started!  Just one piece was damaged in the shipping and a little super glue fixed that right up!!  I have projects to share with you, but that will be the next post.  Since I've been wrapped up in projects (and since Punk has all those packing materials to drag all over the apartment) my home has gotten a little chaotic.  I realized I have 2 laundry baskets of clothes waiting to be put away. 2 baskets of socks, undies, towels, and other assorted stuff awaits me.  It's not like me to let stuff sit for a week!  At least I hung the shirts, folded the towels and paired the socks already.  When I get into a new project, it's hard to step away for the rest of the world!  I forgot lunch 3 days in a row!  Anyway, I better get back to tidying up.  I'll try to get what I've been working on up later tonight, but first I need a clean space to take the pictures!! 

Thanks again, Angela!!

Punk is enjoying it too! 

"Oooh, fresh box!"

"Dis new toy for Punky?  How I play wif it?"

"ZOMG!  New box and paperz BEST TOYZ EVER!"

Happy Birthday, America!

Happy Birthday, America!!

And THANK YOU to all of my soldiers!!